An idea whose time has come

I’ve been absent from the blog for a while. I have been capturing my ideas down on paper, but struggling with writing them in the blog. Not wanting to duplicate others, but still feeling the draw to write down what I do, why I do it. At times I feel so insecure about this blog and writing the book. At other times I am compelled and know it is the right path. The feelings all come in waves. Waves of security, blessing and knowing. Waves of insecurity, shame and dread. Overcoming those feelings is sometimes difficult, often impossible. What I know is that the ideas keep coming, sometimes softly, sometimes with such an intensity that the knowing is impossible to deny. The universe chooses to tell me that this book is still inside me, outside of me, all around me. The barrier is only my own brain, my own insecurities, my own doing.

So, keeping with the knowing. There are still things I need to tell you, want to tell you. I may choose to document them here or elsewhere. I have been starting to understand that I need to simply write the book and get it out there for the world to see. It could be fodder for someone else to find their creative niche in the world. It could be really helpful to someone struggling to do “everything”. Getting caught in the hamster wheel of trying to do everything, be everything for everyone and saying yes to doing everything is a wheel I don’t want to die on anymore. Making that conscious choice can be liberating, and getting some help to get there could be very useful to someone. I am not saying anything that some do not already know. I am worried that it won’t have meaning, that it is already known. But, it wasn’t known to me before I embarked on the real knowing. So, it may not be known to others. It may have some use. Why would it keep circling back to me if it was known, if it didn’t need to be known through me?

Is this so abstract that it has no meaning? I don’t think so. I think it resonates with those of us who are constantly on the move, constantly doing. If you don’t slow down, you miss life. If you don’t take a moment to breath, walk outside, smile, you risk becoming less resilient, you risk not enjoying life.

There are so many things that matter in life. There are so many things we need to do. One of them is definitely to find, have and cultivate joy in life.

So, this idea that keeps coming to me, for years now. If I don’t do it, it will flow to someone else. It will try to find a way to be known. This is part of what I am supposed to do while I am here, it is something I need to do regardless if it makes any money or in reality ends up costing me money. I am graciously accepting this challenge and know that I will be successful. Is that conceited?

Is that cray cray to put out there in the universe? Well, its out there.

This is bigger than me. It may get even bigger.

Is that scary? For sure!

You have joined me on this journey before. Thank you for bearing with me as I find my way.

Hope to see you again soon.

Be Well,

Teresa

Here’s What Happened When I Meditated for One Month- Week Three and Not for Week 4

Monday, July 3, Riverton, CT

A simple wake up around 5am. Needing to meditate even before getting out of bed. I used an unguided meditation this morning, concentrated on my breathing, and before I knew it 10 minutes was up. This is getting easier! However, because we had such a busy day yesterday- we were working desperately to protect our ripening blueberries from the blue jays, blue birds and robins- erecting a structure and stringing up netting, I didn’t get the rest and rejuvenation I needed in order to have better sleep and a better readiness score today. I feel ok, however my HR, HRV and therefore my recovery index are telling me I need a resting day. Luckily, I can take a rest today. What does a resting day look like? I think for today perhaps some reading in the morning on the couch or lounge chair (if the weather ever clears), a nice shower with some comfy clothes, perhaps a nice walk… what does a recovery day look like for you?

Morning Stats:

Readiness 68, Resting HR 63, HRV 18ms, max HRV 50ms

Sleep 84, deep sleep 9%

Meditation Stats:

Lowest HR 63bpm, curve was actually showing my HR was going up during the meditation (That is odd!)

Average HRV 29ms, and because the HR was going up, the HRV was going down during the meditation

Skin Temperature- curve going up during the meditation

Finally! I was able to incorporate a second meditation into my day! I did a guided meditation that was very relaxing. My brain is in creativity mode, so in order to really relax, I needed the deep breathing, concentrating on the exhale and elongating the exhale combined with a deep relaxation. It felt awesome. I am hoping for better sleep this evening!

Meditation Stats:

Lowest HR 65bpm

Average HRV 32ms, highest 34ms

Skin Temperature: a nice curve upwards

Tuesday, July 4, Riverton, CT

Woke up tons in the middle of the night, did not sleep well. Do NOT feel rested at ALL. Managed to meditate first thing before getting out of bed. Not sure why my daily stats and meditation stats are not so good today. I’ll have to try to rest a little bit more today, no active exercising, and trying to do another meditation during the day will help.

Morning Stats:

Readiness Score 64, Resting HR 66bpm, HRV 18ms, max37ms

Sleep Score 78, deep sleep 6% (Yikes! No wonder I don’t feel rested!)

Meditation Stats:

Lowest HR 65bpm

Average HRV 19ms

Skin Temperature graph shows slight increase upwards, so I was able to relax during the meditation and it did feel good during the meditation, but my body may not have felt the effects.

Second Meditation Stats:

Lowest HR 67bpm

Average HRV 16ms

Skin Temperature: Nice curve upwards demonstrating I was able to relax

Wednesday, July 5, Riverton, CT

I was able to finally sleep through the night. Finally! I think the stacking of resting, hydration and two meditations helped to make my evening and nights sleep more restful. I also went to bed early, relaxed with a book, took some extra time with my night skin routine, all in all a restful day and evening which I think helped me sleep tremendously.

Morning Stats:

Readiness 71, resting HR 63bpm (still elevated), HRV 23 ms, max 45ms

Sleep Score 87, Deep sleep 17%

This morning I did a guided breathing meditation through the app on my Oura ring. It worked beautiful to energize me to wake up, but also was very relaxing.

Meditation Stats:

Lowest HR 62bpm (going in the right direction!)

Average HRV 39ms (also going in the right direction!) highest 50ms

Skin Temperature Nice trend upwards throughout the meditation

Thursday, July 6th, Riverton, CT

Managed a tidy little meditation in my comfy chair in my bedroom- Jason must have slept on the couch for some reason. Having my bedroom all to myself in the morning is lovely and allows me to great the day in a slower, easier way.

My meditation this morning was excellent. A new guided meditation from my Oura ring. It really helped me relax deeper I think- as I have been struggling this week with a slightly elevated HR, feeling extra tired, I think the meditation really helped set me up for the day.

Morning Stats:

Readiness Score 75, Resting HR 59bpm, HRV 27ms, Max 53ms

Sleep Score 88, Deep Sleep 18%

Meditation Stats:

Lowest HR 61bpm

Average HRV 44ms

Skin Temperature- nice curve indicating I was relaxed

Friday, July 7th, Riverton, CT

Slept through the night! I feel I am reporting out to my mom how my newborn slept! Bringing me right back to Ella’s early days on the planet, everything revolved around how well Ella and her momma slept. Different stages of our lives lend themselves to different priorities!

Morning Stats:

Readiness Score 66, Resting HR still remains elevated at 63, HRV 20ms, max 39ms

Sleep Score 82, Deep Sleep 14%

Meditation Stats:

Lowest HR 63

Average HRV 38ms, highest 40ms

Skin Temperature nice straight line up and to the right

Here is where I stopped. In all honesty, at the time, I am not sure why I stopped. Looking back, I think partly it was stressing me out and partly I was starting to not feel very well.

The following week, what was supposed to be week 4 for my experiment, I tested positive for COVID. This was the first time I had Covid-19 and quite frankly, I was shocked when I tested myself. I worked from home last week, with the some upper respiratory symptoms that only lasted about two days, but the shortness of breath, fatigue and brain fog lasted well over a week. I was also completely disinterested in doing anything. I literally sat on our screened in porch so I was not contaminating the house or anyone else, and just sat, staring at the trees and the rain. I was not myself. For many days.

While I am disappointed that I wasn’t able to make it through the four weeks of meditation, I understand why I stopped.

You’ll be happy to know that I have restarted, but I am not going to be as stringent about monitoring my stats on my Oura ring. I catch mini meditations here and there during the day as I can, I am practicing deep breathing exercises to fall asleep and to relax in the middle of the day. Overall, I am trying to incorporate the wellness of meditation into my everyday life. I think it is working, but the true gauge, the correct barometer to how this is working is how I am feeling.

Today, I feel better.

And, my HR and HRV stats this morning are back to normal.

Back to work tomorrow.

Be Well,

Teresa

Smile! You are on Zoom!

Doesn’t that look like a happy Zoom screen? Would that not provoke a smile on your lips? I promised to talk about something new this week. My meditation experiment is still on going, I am deep into Week 3, feeling good about it, but on to something new…

Smiling. 🙂

Is it cliché to talk about the power of a smile? The power of changing your body language to demonstrate openness and compassion? I believe that there is a certain level of power or at least change generation that occurs when you smile and show the world you are ready to accept whatever it has in store.

So, I smile sometimes when no one else is.

I smile when others are frowning, or just have a simple straight lipped gaze.

I smile when no one else on Zoom is smiling.

I smile when one of my bosses texts me in the middle of a board meeting over Zoom and asks me what I am grinning at. I mention to him to look up at the screen and notice that no one else is smiling. I see his eyes gaze up from his phone to his computer screen. I see him notice my smile. I see the edges of his own mouth move towards a smile. And suddenly, not only is he smiling, but others have caught on, subconscious or not. The Zoom screen is filled with Hollywood squares of my colleagues smiling. Success!

Smiling is an indicator of longevity. Smiling correlates with strong relationships, mental well being and long fulfilling lives. Smiling can trigger your own mood to improve as happy hormones increase and cortisol and adrenaline decrease. Smile helps your blood pressure lower and regulate. Those happy hormones are endorphins, produced by your brain when you are smiling, so stress and pain levels decrease. Smile=Happy!

I have been working with a coach on handling difficult situations and difficult emotions. One technique that she shared with me that I have read about from others includes:

1. Identify the Emotion- spend some time thinking about what you are feeling, try to name the emotion- not just happy or sad, but really get to the core of the feeling.

2. Challenge the Emotion- think about why you are feeling this way, try to get to the core of why are you having the emotion. What prompted it? Does the situation actually demand you feel a certain way? Was the situation/challenge/problem driving your emotion or were you internally driving it?

3. Understand the Emotion- here is where you give yourself some grace and space. It is ok to feel whatever you are feeling and for however long. Try to feel how it feels in your physical body so that you can identify it easier if it happens again. Some emotions “feel” a certain way, like butterflies in your stomach, or a tightening of muscles.

4. Replace the Emotion- you get to play a little here with what feels right to you. Try to replace a negative or bad feeling emotion with a better feeling one. Try to see how it would feel if you could smile, open yourself to a new concept or idea and not take things so personally.

5. Visualize yourself with this new Emotion- meditation and visualization can help with this step. I find this step very hard, but enjoy playing with it. It is very hard for me to visualize colors and “things” in a visualization exercise, but it is easy for me to feel a “feel”. So, I play with feeling different emotions in relation to different scenarios in order to train my brain to react differently the next time something happens.

Of all of the above steps, I believe the most important one is understanding. Giving yourself the grace and space to feel the feel. Wallow in it, spend some time with it. Give yourself a time limit if you have to, but just be in the emotion so that you understand how it feels in your body, how your mind is dealing with it, then be at peace with it. All of that is worth the investment of time if you want to change how you approach something the next time it rears its ugly head. Understanding is self compassion. And practicing self compassion allows you to show up in the world as you want to.

I want to show up smiling on Zoom.

Here is my TV debut where I did a lot of smiling. In this case, I was smiling because I was so nervous!! I can’t believe I am sharing this with all of you, as I really don’t like looking at myself on video, but part of this blog is not only to share with you but also to help me practice too!

https://www.wtnh.com/news/health/connecticut-nurses-honored-for-national-nurses-week/

Be well,

Teresa

Additional Readings and Resources:

Good Vibes, Good Life, How Self Love is the Key to Unlocking your Greatness, Vex King

Your Happier: The 7 Neuroscience Secrets of Feeling Good Based on Your Brain Type, D Amen

The Happiness Project, G Rubin

T. Otterbring. (2017). Smile for a while: the effect of employee displayed smiling on customer effect and satisfaction. Journal of Service Management, 28, 2.

E Jaffe. (2011). The psychological study of smiling. Observer. Retrieved at https://www.psychologocal science.org/observer/the-psychological-study-of-smiling/comment-page-1

C. Neurofibromas, et al (2002). Effects of laughing, smiling and howling on mood. Psychological reports, 91, 3. doi.org/10.2466/pr0.2002.91.3f.1079

Here’s What Happened When I Meditated for One Month, Week 2

Day 9: June 26, Newcastle, Maine

Treating myself right on my second day of our short summer vacation. 10 minute meditation before I got out of bed, half a bottle of water and then a coffee and some reading. Looks like a rainy day, so taking it easy this morning, planning an adventure.

I am working my way up to a 20 minute unguided meditation session in the morning and a 10 minute guided session in the afternoon. So far, I can manage a 10 minute session in the morning, unguided- meaning I set my Oura app to track my meditation session, but there is no music, no gentle voice guiding me to breathe, its just me, my breath and my mind. Trying to steady myself, train my mind to let go of the thoughts that pop in, that is the work of meditation, that is meditation practice.

So this morning my mind did a great job, as thoughts entered I was able to whisk them away with concentrating on my breath. I don’t feel any different yet. I would love to be blogging about the benefits, but right now, I am just in the practice zone and am not experiencing anything. Which is ok.

Morning Stats:

Readiness 69, lowest HR 61, Average HRV 18, highest 52

Sleep 91, deep sleep15%

Meditation Stats: Lowest HR 61 bpm

Average HRV 37ms, highest 40ms

Skin Temperature: Nice curve upwards

Day 10: June 27, Newcastle, Maine

Awoke to the dog scrambling up the stairs with Ella in tow. He had just gone out and was soaked because of course, its raining. She was trying in vain to get him to sit still so she could dry him off but he was so excited to be upstairs and seeing both Jason and I in bed, that he was not even attempting to be a very good listener.

So, hence, being awoken in such an odd way, I did not complete the morning meditation as planned. I will have to see how the day goes and see how a midday meditation feels.

Morning Stats:

Readiness Score 76, Resting HR 59bpm, Average HRV 31ms, highest HRV +80ms

Sleep Score 89, Deep Sleep 13% (had about an hour and a half of awake time in the middle of the night, not sure what precipitated that- but couldn’t fall back to sleep- lots of thoughts going through my mind, hard to settle back down)

Day 11, June 28, Newcastle, Maine

Spent some extra time in bed just relaxing. Meditated before getting out of bed, not wanting to disturb my bedroom mates. In Maine, Ella’s room has not yet been renovated, so she sleeps on a bed in our master bedroom. Makes for a cool vacation, but mornings alone can be tricky. It is really hard to get out of the bedroom without waking anyone.

Meditation was ok today- still in my brain- lots of thoughts, really not feeling a way to relax with all these thoughts.

Morning Stats:

Readiness Score 86, Resting HR 58bpm, Average HRV 29ms, Highest 70ms

Sleep Score 89, Deep Sleep 18%

Meditation Stats:

Lowest HR: 59bpm

Average 42ms

Skin Temperature: nice curve upwards indicating relaxation (even if I didn’t really feel it)

Day 12, June 29, Riverton, CT

Ended up on the couch in the middle of the night. Insomnia makes me squirrly. I can’t relax, can’t calm down after being awoken, for whatever reason in the middle of the night. I need to change my position, get some water and start over. So, I woke up to the sun pouring in our living room windows. I stayed right where I was for my meditation because I was quite comfortable. I decided to do a guided meditation because the last few times I have practiced, I have been having trouble paying too much attention to my thoughts. The guided meditation was about just that! Practicing what to do with your thoughts when you come across them during meditation practice. I have not yet mastered it, but at least I am not angry with myself for having thoughts. Thoughts are a part of your meditation practice, it is what you do with them that can be problematic for your brain. If you give them energy and let them roll around while meditation, gaining speed and momentum then you aren’t giving yourself the chance to actual relax fully. If you think the thought and then try to let it go, acknowledge the thought and then release it- that is a better way to practice meditation. Really in meditation we are trying to soothe our brains and nervous systems. We have to train our brain to not think during meditation and this will only come with practice.

Morning Stats:

Readiness Score 77, Resting HR 54bpm, Average HRV 31ms, Highest 66ms

Sleep Score 84, deep sleep 15%

Meditation Stats:

Lowest HR 57 bpm

Average HRV 45ms, highest 50ms

Skin Temperature, nice curve upwards, then dipped a bit at the end (I think some thoughts were invading my meditation!)

I am really striving for better sleep with this meditation practice. I am going to try an evening meditation before bed to see what happens with my morning stats. One of these days I’ll make that happen. Until then…

Day 13, June 30, Riverton CT

Friday, finally! Despite being off for a few days this week, I still feel exhausted by it all- and ready for the weekend.

Unfortunately, a bad nights sleep and getting up at the same time as Jason created morning time conversation over our coffee, that he and I have not had for a long time. Hence, no meditation. So, like any one on a quest like this, I told myself, “Self, we shall meditate in the evening before dinner instead!”.

Did that happen?

Nope.

Disappointed, but I am trying to have reasonable expectations of myself.

Morning Stats:

Readiness Score: 74, Resting HR 56bpm, Average HRV 28, max 65ms

Sleep Score: 78, Deep Sleep 15%

Day 14, Saturday, July 1, Riverton, CT

Uh oh. Well, now that is two days in a row. Saturday mornings are truly a blur until we sit down for lunch. This morning we woke at 4:30am and had baked goods in the oven by 5am. We scrambled to get everything done by 8am, and ran down to the Farm Store to set everything up in time for our first customers. No time for meditating this morning!

So, being reasonable, I think it is ok not to meditate in the mornings on Saturdays. One might say that is exactly when I should be meditating, when life is busy and things are crazy. I think I have to find another routine for Saturdays so that #1. I am not stressed about not meditating in the morning, #2. Have a routine that I can easily accomplish the meditation at another point during the day and #3. Feel good. Isn’t that what this is all about?

Morning Stats:

Readiness Score: 74, Resting HR 66bpm, Average HRV 16ms, max 34ms

Sleep Score: 81, Deep Sleep 19%

Day 15, Sunday, July 2, Riverton, CT

Redeeming myself this morning. Woke up naturally at 4:15am. Thought about trying to find another place to snuggle up and fall back to sleep but I could tell that I was awake for the day. Found a comfy chair in the living room, turned on a guided meditation and I nailed it. Feel awesome, enjoying my first cup of coffee with my blog, thinking, writing, being creative.

I am half way through the month and so grateful to be sharing this with you. I realize this may be a bit boring for everyone to read. I want to interject some other topics that have been swirling around in my brain and then come back to this month of meditation. I will keep writing every morning and trending my statistics, but next week, I’ll try to bring some other ideas forward.

Morning Stats:

Readiness Score 74, Resting HR 62bpm, Average HRV 25ms, max 53ms

Sleep Score 78, Deep Sleep 20%

Meditation Stats:

Lowest HR: 59 bpm

Average HRV: 46ms, highest 55ms

Skin Temperature: nice curve upwards

Thank you for being on this quest with me! I hope it is inspiring you to try meditation too.

Be well,

Teresa

Additional Resources and Readings:

Oura Ring www.ouraring. com

Stress Less, Accomplish More: Meditation for Extraordinary Performance, Emily Fletcher

Ziva meditation by Emily Fletcher at www.ziva meditation.com

The Miracle Morning, Hal Elrod

The Ziva Method, Emily Fletcher

Free Time, Jenny Blake

Bliss More: How to Succeed in Meditation Without Really Trying, Light Watkins

The 6 Phase Meditation Method, Vishen Lakhian

Here’s What Happened When I Meditated for One Month- The Beginning

An Oura Ring. Photo Credit: Oura Ring, directly from their website at www.ouraring.com

Here’s what happened when I meditated for one month.

The Beginning: Week One

I want to go revitalize my meditation practice. You may recall I mentioned I stopped meditating little bit ago and I really want to get back into it. I decided to try to track my progress with using the different scores collected by my Oura ring, and by writing blogs to not only hold myself accountable to the daily practice, but also track and trend progress. Of course my main aim is to share with all of you!

My Oura ring is amazing. An Oura Ring is a fitness and health tracker. I first found out about the Oura Ring when I was home nursing my neck back to health the first time my cervical discs were giving me problems. An add for the ring was in a holistic care magazine my mother in law had brought over for me to peruse. I was intrigued by its unique shape and its sophisticated collection of data. I have been wearing it and collecting data for over 4 years. It has shaped my routines, especially my sleep.

The meditation app within the ring allows capture of three critical relaxation statistics- your lowest HR during the meditation, your average HRV (heart rate variability) a measure of how your body is responding to stress and skin temperature, a warm hand indicates relaxation. While the HRV is highly personal and should not be compared against others, you can track and trend it yourself to see how you are responding to daily life. A higher HRV normally indicates a sign of general health and wellness.

I’ve decided to include my morning statistics each day as well. The Oura Ring calculates a Readiness Score to indicate how well you will handle your day- this would demonstrate if you should take a rest, not exercise, try to incorporate restful light activities, or take on a challenge. It also indicates a daily Sleep Score to let you know how well you slept.

So, here we go. I am fascinated to see where this takes me. I hope you will join me over the next few weeks.

Day 1 June 18 Sunday, at home.

Evening meditation after a very active day- a walk with my friend, a fun outing afternoon for Father’s Day, and then two intense hours in the garden weeding garden beds and planting vegetables. I stacked the resting time with an ice roll to my neck as my hands and fingers have been going numb for days and laid down on the needle mat as well. I did a guided meditation from my Oura ring app so that I could collect the data and trend it to watch my progress. The guided meditation was excellent. You concentrated on your breath, observing it to start flowing out of your low belly down around the end of your spine, up your back and then over the top of your head to your forehead on the in breath and then on the exhale you noticed your breath going down your face, chest and into your low belly again. It was cyclical, very relaxing, part of it was guided, and then other breaths you did on your own. I felt very good.

Stats: Lowest HR: 70 bpm (nighttime baseline 59 bpm)

Average HRV 18ms, Max 22ms (nighttime baseline 26ms)

Skin temperature variation- elevated but then tapered to moderate

Morning Stats

Readiness Score 69, resting HR 65 bpm, HRV 20ms

Sleep Score 75, deep sleep 10%

Day 2: June 19, at home.

Morning Meditation. I awoke early after a busy, active day yesterday. I feel more refreshed than I have in days, probably because I slept through the night for the first time in two weeks! I got up, peed and then got comfortable in the chair in my bedroom under a blanket. I did an unguided meditation through the Oura app so that I could get the stats. The meditation I performed was the one that I learned on the Ziva on line course. Start with deep breaths, then go through each of your five senses and just observe the present moment. Then I repeated the mantra Om for 10 a minute session. I was given a mantra back in 2019 when I took the online course. I have to review Sanskrit words to see if I can remember what it is!

Stats: Lowest HR 56 bpm

Average HRV 53ms, highest HRV 55ms

Skin temperature: Nice curve upwards levels off towards end after inclining the entire time of the meditation

Morning Stats

Readiness Score 66, resting HR 54 bpm, HRV 32ms

Sleep Score 89, deep sleep 27%

I may have found my mantra word that I was given during my online course, from The Yoga Journal online, but I am not sure. I will see if it sticks tomorrow when I meditate.

Day 3: June 20, at home.

Wake, Pee, Meditate. It’s my mantra when I first get out of bed so that I don’t forget my mission for the next 27 days. I awoke at 4:30am. I slept through the night again! Amazing! Jason was beside me, so I tiptoed downstairs, peed and made it without getting too entangled by the dog, who clearly had missed human contact all night, to the comfy chair in the living room, pulled on a blanket and got going.

I used the Oura app again to track my stats. I totally forgot my mantra word, so made up a sanskrit like word after I did my deep breathing and five senses. Perhaps my mantra word is not for me? Perhaps I have changed ever so slightly and it doesn’t have meaning any more? I have to look into that a bit. I have heard it is very specific to you and to what you are going through. It is so specifically supposed to belong to you that when you receive it you are not supposed to write it down, you are only supposed to verbalize it and chant it while you are meditating. Now, I seem to have forgotten it, and it does make me a little sad. To tell you the truth. I am going to do a little research…

Stats: Lowest HR 53 bpm

Average HRV 44ms, Highest 53ms

Skin Temperature: Nice curve upwards levels off towards end after inclining the entire time of the meditation (similar curve to yesterday)

Morning Stats

Readiness Score 84, Resting HR 58 bpm, HRV 32ms

Sleep Score 90, deep sleep 25%

Day 4: June 21, at home.

Terrible nights sleep last night. Felt like I woke up every half an hour after 2am. But, nonetheless when my Hatch started brightening, I woke up and meditated. I performed a meditation inside the Oura Ring app called Planetary Orbit. It is a Daoist meditation which controls the breath in an orbit, starting in the lower belly, down and around the bottom of the spine, up the back to the crown of the fore head for the inhale and then down the front of the body to the belly for the exhale. I like this meditation because it forces your brain to think only about the breath.

Stats: Lowest HR 59 bpm, curve had two bell curves in it, so it had an initial dip, then went back up, then down again

Average HRV 33ms, highest 40ms at the beginning of the session

Skin Temperature: halting curve upwards, looks almost like steps

Morning Stats

Readiness Score 74, resting HR 56 bpm, HRV 34ms

Sleep Score 85, deep sleep 16%

Day 5: June 22, at home.

Better nights sleep, slept straight through till 4am. I call that a win! I am still not waking up refreshed, but at least I feel a little bit better. Woke up with lots of stuff on my mind. I may want to add a second meditation right before bed to see if that helps with sleeping more soundly and longer.

Stats: Lowest HR 57 bpm, curve had the large dip and then trended upward and ended at 62bpm.

Average HRV 46ms, highest 50ms, the line graph was almost straight across 46ms.

Skin Temperature: Sharp rise to a nice curve to high.

Morning Stats

Readiness Score 82, 57 bpm, HRV 33ms

Sleep Score 84, deep sleep 20%

Addendum: Best laid plans often… what is that saying??? Anyway, I wasn’t able to complete a second meditation. It just wasn’t in the cards. I am going to try to hold myself to the once a day and not feel badly for being unable to squeeze in another one just yet.

Day 6: June 23, at home.

Morning meditation, right out of bed. Rise, Pee, Meditate. I have a comfy, old chair in my bedroom, I have decorated it with a lovely blanket, and with the shades open in the morning, and because 5am is so bright, it is delightful to sit there, meditate and greet the day.

You may be wondering about the stats- specifically, skin temperature. The Oura ring measures skin temperature because when you are relaxed, you hands tend to be warm. This is related to increased blood flow to your extremities, which naturally occurs as your blood pressure lowers. The changes in your skin temperature can indicate how well you were able to unwind during your meditation. If you relax during the session, your hands begin to warm and the graph will have a nice curve upwards.

Stats: Lowest HR 62 bpm, nice curve downwards

Average HRV 45ms, highest 50 ms, nighttime baseline is 26

Skin Temperature: nice tall curve immediately, then levels out for second half, but stays high

Morning Stats

Readiness Score 73, resting HR 58bpm, HRV 28ms

Sleep Score 88, Deep sleep 18%

Day 7: June 24 Farm Store, then in travel to Maine

I wasn’t able to meditate today. Insert frowny face emoji here.

Today was a baking day, up at 4am, baking till 7:30am, prepping myself (getting dressed, eating breakfast) packing the car, setting up the farm bakes, then serving customers till noonish. Then, jumped in the car to drive to Maine for a few quick days. I needed to drive so that Jason didn’t fall asleep at the wheel, so no relaxing for me! Of course the trip took longer than we anticipated because of torrential downpours, traffic and accidents (minor fend benders, but they still caused all those rubberneckers), so we arrived just in time for dinner and bed.

Saturday’s at home, I should be able to achieve an afternoon relaxing meditation or an evening one before bed but it was not in the cards for today.

No meditation stats to share from today

Morning Stats

Readiness Score 73, Resting HR 56bpm, 29ms

Sleep Score 85, Deep Sleep 19%

Day 8: June 25, in Maine

Woke up early, despite telling myself last night, “Sleep as late as you possible can!!! You are on vacation!” Up at 4:30am again, resting in bed, did the meditation before I even got out of bed…

Despite not sleeping late, and barely getting 6 hours of sleep, I still feel really good.

I did a unguided session today and thoughts kept creeping in. It was a little hard to stay focused on my breath. I think I am excited about being on vacation and eager to get going with some fun adventures! I have to remind myself to relax! That is part of vacation too.

Stats: Lowest HR 57 bpm, curve was weird today, curved up then a nice curve down to the lowest HR right before the meditation ended.

Average HRV: 40ms, highest 45ms

Skin Temperature: Nice curve upwards indicating despite feeling like I couldn’t turn my brain off, I was still able to relax.

Morning Stats

Readiness Score 81, resting HR 55bpm, HRV 35ms

Sleep Score 80, Deep Sleep 20%

I hope you will stay with my while I forge ahead on this meditation journey. Join me if you want! You can use your health tracker to track some stats, or simply track how you are feeling and sleeping! I am not sure that my stats show any improvements yet, but I am excited to see what happens!

Be well,

Teresa

Additional Readings and Resources:

Oura Ring www.ouraring. com

Stress Less, Accomplish More: Meditation for Extraordinary Performance, Emily Fletcher

Ziva meditation by Emily Fletcher at www.ziva meditation.com

My Morning Ritual Revisited

Having your first cup of coffee or tea in the morning, outside. Whatever natural space you have, be it a deck, but it a landing, be it a travel cup with your morning walk. Take in the world with your five senses.

Sip, listen. Sip, look. Sip, smell. Sip, feel. Sip, taste.

Concentrate on being mindful about each sip and about each sense. This can be a type of meditation you can do with yourself. I try to do this everyday, but it usually ends up about once or twice a week. Other days I am diving into emails for work, or scurrying around getting ready for work or baking and opening the Farm Store. Once or twice a week, I take time with my first cup of coffee and really savor the moments. Appreciate nature. Inhale and exhale the cool morning air. It really energizes me for the day. Steadies my soul. Allows a deep relaxation so that I can conquer the day.

Back in January, when I began blogging, I wrote about my morning routine. Taking my first cup of coffee outside does remind me of being on vacation, carefree, without a schedule. However, most days we are not on vacation. So getting some of those special moments for ourselves is really important to feeling good and being at our best.

Part of my morning routine included meditation.

Mindfulness and meditation is most likely the foundation of not only anchoring us in the current moment, but allowing us to be more attentive to the world around us, more accepting and ultimately more fulfilled in life. I mentioned a few blogs ago that I had stopped meditating recently. I need to pick up where I left off. I believe our capacity to lead a fulfilling life that has meaning for ourselves, allows us to be our best self and brings us joy is directly associated with being mindful and practicing meditation.

So, why have I fallen out of my meditation routine?

Time.

I have been suffering lately with feeling like I don’t have enough time. Feeling a lack of time continuously becomes a vicious circle. Almost a year ago, I added an hour commute to my day, so there is that. Two hours in the car per day. When I start to think about that and add up the hours I miss being at home, being with Ella, taking care of my own needs, I start to get a little bit jealous of those without a commute and angry that I don’t have enough time for myself. However, the hour commute is an excellent time to catch up on reading (well, listening to books!), catch up with friends on the phone (hands free of course!) or catch up mind wandering as I pay attention to the traffic and the road. There are always two sides to everything. Finding the special moments even in something that feels like a time suck will help me live the life that I want.

I forgot what it feels like.

I think I have forgotten how meditation makes me feel. More relaxed and composed. More like myself. Not hurried or harried. Just more me. Able to take on new pressures and emotions with ease. Finding coincidences and synchronicities in everyday life. Attaining balance between work, play and rest. As I look back to when I was meditating at least once, if not twice per day, I see a happier me.

So, a commitment to a better me and a better life includes meditation.

I am getting back to it, starting right now! What about you?

Be well,

Teresa

Additional Reading and Resources

Stress Less, Accomplish More. Meditation for Extraordinary Performance, Emily Fletcher

www.zivameditation.com

www.mindful.org/michael-baime-on-stress-management/

Davidson, et al (2003). Alterations in brain and immune function produced by mindfulness meditation. Psychosomatic Medicine, 65 (4), 564-570.

Real Happiness. The Power of Meditation, Sharon Salzburg

The 6 Phase Meditation Method, Vishen Lakhiani

Sound Medicine, Kulreet Chaudary, MD

Bliss More. How to Succeed in Meditation, Light Watkins

Love Yourself like your Life Depends on it, Kamal Ravikant

The Miracle of Mindfulness, Thich Nhat Hahn

Be Free Where you are, Thich Nhat Hahn

How to Relax, Thich Nhat Hahn

The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle

Stillness Speaks, Eckhart Tolle

The Self Care Solution, Jennifer Ashton, MD

The Happy Hour Effect, 12 Secrets to Minimize Stress and Maximize Life, Kristen Brown

Stress Reduction in the Garden

Where do you feel your best? Our bodies tend towards being connected to the Earth. Our bodies enjoy being grounded (remember the putting your feet in the sand blog?). Taking walks in nature with our without your shoes helps to calm and quiet your inner turmoil, releases tension and aids in stress reduction. Being outside is full of many wonderful benefits to our bodies.

Putting our hands in the soil works the same way. Every Spring and early Summer, I have a craving to spend time outside, whether it is by the lake, sitting around a fire with friends or plunging my hands into the dirt and planting.

It could be because we are cooped up all winter, waiting for spring. It could be that our bodies actually need to feel reconnected to the Earth.There are some real benefits to playing in the dirt, planting a garden and spending time connecting to soil. Soil can be looked upon as an antidepressant- the smell of mycobacterium vacci, a microorganism found in soil, compost and leaf mold actually lights up our neurotransmitters in our brains to release serotonin (a feel good chemical in our brains)- no wonder we feel so happy while we are planting! I read a study that performed an experiment to prove the stress relieving effects of gardening. Two study groups each performed a similar stress inducing test. The control group was allowed to “relax” after the test with indoor reading. The test group was allowed to “relax” after the test with 30 minutes of gardening. The salivary cortisol levels and self reported mood of the test group decreased more significantly than the same measures of the control group.

Being outside, in particular in our garden beds, helps us connect with the natural world, which aids our busy selves to restore our attention, relax our body and revive our moods. Especially if you stack gardening with a mantra- there is a cadence, a rhythm to weeding, digging, raking and caring for a garden which when combined with rhythmic breathing or a mantra can assist in calming the parasympathetic nervous system allowing us to de-stress and find our center of stillness.

There is also an awesome sense of accomplishment in the finishing of a task, especially one that adds beauty around your home, or vegetables and fruits into your belly! Remember back to “My User Manual”? There is a great sense of “I did that!” when it comes to all things gardening. It is intensely gratifying to finish a garden bed, mow the grass, set up a tiny oasis outside. Not only do you get to appreciate the beauty when you are done, but your body has benefited from the exercise, movement, sun and sweat!

Being outside and gardening when stacked with increased activity also helps our bodies. Gardening tends to be a total body activity- a full body workout. I was really sore the day after helping to clear a bed of weeds, carrying the heavy load of weeds to the chickens, kneeling down and pulling weeds out by the roots- it was very engaging, rhythmic work. Extraordinarily satisfying as well! Not only is it a full body workout, but it also allows for your body to be exposed to bacteria (the good kind!), allows for some Vitamin D exposure from the sun and allows for a reduction in cortisol leading to more mindfulness and relaxation.

There is a movement towards prescribing “green care”- a therapy by exposure to plants and gardening. This type of care has roots with Florence Nightingale (see what I did there? 😂). Her use of therapeutic gardens and allowing for patients to receive natural therapy by being outside during recovery is well documented in the literature. Viewing plants has been studied to alter EEG patterns; reduce stress, fear, anger and sadness; decrease blood pressure, heart rate and muscle tension. Green spaces, including gardens, both of the vegetable and flower variety are associated with decrease depression, anxiety and stress and increase in longevity.

I recently spent some time away at a conference for work in Newport, Rhode Island. It was only an overnight gig, but it allowed for some much needed “me time”. I was able to get away during breaks to walk the town, snap some pictures. Newport has a unique way, like other cities, to create special little green spaces in tiny nooks between buildings. I was walking down the Thames and came across so many beautiful window scapes and little gardens tucked between houses and businesses. Being by the ocean was so helpful, breathing in that salty air, the ions, the views, but these little green spaces also had an affect. Connecting with nature by admiring the artistic and creative plantings was equally as restful. Turning little pieces of land into tiny oasis’s- what an honor! Luckily, I have been able to do that at my home, and on our farm. I also was lucky enough to spend some time this week admiring the work of others, gaining inspiration along the way.

The urge to plunge my hands in the soil is great. We are working on finishing up our plantings for the farm and continue to tidy up around the outside of the house- weeding, removing leaves, mulching, making edges more pronounced (I love a nice edge in a garden!)

What are you going to plant in your garden today?

Be Well,

Teresa

Additional Readings and Resources:

www.garden benches.com/blog/how-can-your-garden-reduce-your-stress-levels

The America Institute of Stress

Van Den Berg, A, HG Custer, M. Gardening promotes neuroendocrine and affective restoration from stress. Journal of Health Psych,16 (1). https://doi.org/10.1177/1359105310365577

R. Thompson. (2018). Gardening for health: a regular dose of gardening. Clinical Medicine, 18(3): 201-205.